Blogskin done by 16thday with image from Taringa .

RCHN Common Orientation Camp was a BLAST! I really enjoyed myself. I LOVE NGEE ANN POLY!! I LOVE OUR RCHN CHAPTER!! Definitely a life happening that I want to remember.

The camp was held at MOE Changi Adventure Club. It was right in front of the sea so it was windy and sandy the whole time which was cool. Besides us, there were other chapters such as Republic Poly, NUS, NTU, SMU, ITE East & West, NAFA, UWC, and JCs. So anyway, we were all seperated into 14 groups. We played games and stuff. It was nice.

And then in the late afternoon, we just started to hang out with our own chapters. And NP chapter was SUPER SUPER on and high. We were screaming and standing on benches and cheering almost the whole time during presentations and performances. We were the noisiest.

That night was the best. After the performances and everything we went into our cliques and just talk in the open area under the stars and the sea. The only thing seperating us and the beach was a fence. So it was like camping out at the beach kind of thing. Oh and the place was always noisy with planes. In every minute or two there'll be a plane flying past really low. So it was really a sight.

Anyway, it was me, Wilson, Ximin and another girl (I don't know how to spell her name). We sat at one edge of the open area and talked until really late. And we decided to just sleep in our sleeping bags right there, under the stars. It wasn't everybody who slept there so it wasn't so crowded and so it was super nice. Talked again but Ximin went to sleep first. It was a deep sleep I must say. Haha. Wilson and I had a nice conversation. He's damn funny. And romantic. He brings his girlfriend to see sunset. Sweet hor?

We kinda drifted off at 3am I think. Even though I was asleep, I could still hear snores and planes and the waves and the wind vane thing. The floor was hard and my head hurt. And it was cold. But bearable. Wilson was.. well found out in the morning that he was rolling here and there and almost crushed me. Hahah. I woke up at 5.30am, looked around and saw everybody sleeping so I was just going to try to go back to sleep when Wilson turned his head. Hahah so he was awake already. When we sat up people the rest was wakening. Hahah it was cold and the others who were sleeping with us borrowed Wilson's sleeping bag and made it into a blanket. Hahah.

Since it was still about 2 and a half hours more till gathering, and we were near the East Coast Park, we decided to go for a walk. It was nice. Nobody was around so it was like just me and nature, fresh and cool air and all, early in the morning that it was still dark. Anyway, we walked until the start of the track and started jogging and talking. It was long since I've jogged, or exercise. We stopped at the mark 563m I think. And walked all the way to the jetty. It was this long stretched platform that goes out into the sea. We went to the end and looked at the sea and stuff. We were waiting for the sun to rise too. So just talked and talked again. Then decided to go sit at the giant rocks at the edge of the sea. The sky was lightening and brightening but we were like where's the sun? I expected to see like a semi circle orange ball rising at the horizon but we didn't see it at first. Then he saw it rising out of the cloud, this bright orange ping pong ball. It was pretty! And we could actually look at it, unlike afternoon sun where we have to squint our eyes and stuff. I think that was the first time I saw a sunrise.

Walked back at 7.30am.

Anyway, the top of my hands are bruised from being hit by 3 guys. Wah, they damn super sia. It was like their energy are 3 times mine. And my hits are actually quite painful. It's a game we played la. Hahah. Damn sadistic hor? Games that hurt each other. But the feeling is quite nice, like really hot and stinging. *The following texts were deleted*. Hahah I wrote this long description of what happened but it sounded REALLY WRONG. Hahah. So yea, played the hand game many times with the 3 guys, Wilson, Chee How and Yew Ming. Their hits left me speechless. I made their hands red but I think Wilson's were the worst cuz I played the game with him most. Hahah poor him! My hands were red too and the blood vessel on one of my hands SWELL ok. There was this abnormal bump that hurt when I pressed on it. Terrible right? Everybody else who watched were like laughing and going "Ow!" and "Ooh!" kind of thing. And they were defending me, saying how could they hit me, I'm a girl and told me to just cry and I'll win already. Hahhaha! But of course I didn't take that cuz I was a willing party, so it's not their fault.

Then it was time to go home. There was transportation back to school but it doesn't make sense when we're in the east, I live in the east, and going back to school which is in the west just to go back to the east again. Erm.. sounds complicated but figure it out yourself la. Hahah. So Wilson, being SOOO sweet, decided to walk with me out. I didn't know how to get out from the place to somewhere to get a cab so he was like "We go to East Coast ah. There sure got cabs." Sweet right, for him to accompany me when he lives in the west. So, in the hot sun and heavy backpacks, we braced ourselves for the long, long walk. It was nice really. It was exercise with a good company. Wilson is really funny and damn sweet. I think he and his girlfriend are like a cute and sweet couple. Don't know why. Just felt like that. Hahaha. During the walk, we tried to go and sit on the stones again but we couldn't climb on it!!! Hahah it was funny and embarrassing la. Haha. Oh and we went to see sandcastles!! Big, big sandcastles. Very nice.

Anyway, I love this camp cuz I got closer to people in my Red Cross Humanitarian Network Chapter. I love this camp cuz we were super united and really ON! We're becoming very close. We're just the best! I'm proud of my school and CCA! And it really helps not to expect and think too much. I didn't and see, I don't feel hurt or sad or whatever. ARGH!!! I'm really happy. I hope they'll make another camp. Overnight chalet or whatever.

Tomorrow is the start of clinical attachment. *Long sigh*...
In my own world,
10:04 PM

Exams are over. Not very confident about it though. Sigh..

Then something bad's happening to one of my lecturers. It's sad. I don't know how I would live if I were the one that caused it.

I feel sort of betrayed right now. No actually since last night when it dawned on me finally. Very betrayed.

Everything sucks at home and outside.

Basically my whole life sucks right now. I have 100% doubt that anyone would want to be in my shoes right now.

This blog is going to be sad and gloomy. It's becoming exactly that this past few entries. It's dedicated to those who are feeling at their worst. It's bound to cheer one of them up.

Am I feeling sorry for myself now?

But I'm not going to care about anything. Nope. None at all. Except maybe.. vote for Hady, yea? He's got talent. You're supposed to vote for talent, for someone you'd be proud of to stand on an international (maybe) stage and sing for the whole world (maybe). Vote for Hady.
In my own world,
10:07 PM

I don't like Zac Efron, no matter how cute he is, cuz he reminds me of someone. Sucks MUCH!

BUT.. I'm over it. I'll show him. I don't need his little advices. I can do it myself thanks very much.

I've altered the lyrics a little bit:

And it really doesn't matter that we don't speak
And it really doesn't matter if we never meet
No it really doesn't matter, really doesn't matter at all.

Coz I am so young now, I am so young, so young now
And when tomorrow comes, I can do it all again.

In my own world,
3:12 PM

For once, I wish nobody would read my blog. Especially this entry. Because I hate to show the world how sad, how vulnerable, how hurt I am. I hate the world to see how fucking weak I am. How easily hurt I can get. Maybe there's this sign only I can't see that says "Hurt me."

But anyway, there's no where else for me to say this except here. So if you could just leave me with a little bit of dignity/face/whatever, don't read on.

Who am I kidding? As if I can stop you.

So this guy came into my life. Yada, yada, yada, all the sweetest words, all the most exciting feelings. You know, I just don't think I'm ever going to believe anyone who says "I Love You" to me again.

I've been led on. Time and time again. It keeps happening. It keeps happening so many times that I'm not going to believe anymore. I'm not going to care anymore.

I'm giving up. So people would say "Noooo you shouldn't give up". But I've felt this ugly feeling so many times that it's finally convinced me that I should give up. I can't stand the feeling anymore.

Just.. No more.
In my own world,
10:13 PM

There's too much to study.
There's too many notes.
There's too much information.
There's too much expectations.
There's too many events.
There's too many mysteries.
There's too much going on in my life.

Stress MUCH!
In my own world,
11:30 PM

I don't get it. Why do they use the escalator but climbs down it? It's supposed to bring us down. Then they act impatient, excuse me here, excuse me there. Go and take the stairs la if you want to get down yourself.

Now, about the war between Israel and Lebanon.

I want to start off with a quote: WAR doesn't determine who's RIGHT; WAR determines who's LEFT.

I can't stand people who hurt children. I can't stand them! They are the stupidest, the worst criminal, the most evil human beings in the whole wide world. Seriously! What is their problem? What is wrong with their minds, their brains? Are they the size of peas? Seriously! Why do they hurt the innocent? What do they see through their eyes? What do they see when they look at children? Do they see little demons? Do they see these children as a danger to the world, to them? What the hell is their problem? Really! I think every single person should have a child, that they love, when they are still young. And then when their mind's are ****ed up and starts to kill people, innocents, maybe they might think "What if someone did this to my children?". God!! I wish I could tie all these bad people to a chair and let them watch videos after videos of what they'd done, of what they'd done to the children, to all the innocents (and also maybe the music video "Heal the World"). Where is their compassion? Don't they have any other feelings besides hate and anger? I mean doesn't the pictures and videos of children buried in rubble, children and other people torn into pieces, bleeding and burned to death even make them the least bit guilty? Even a tiny needle prick of guilt? Where has their brain gone to while they're bombing and blowing people up? Are they blind or something?

Oh my God. How do they sleep after bombing places up and killing people? Oh my God. I had the worst thought that they might feel satisfied, smiling in their sleep. OH MY GOD! These people are NOT humans! How could I NOT SEE that? *said exaggeratedly* Maybe something else has taken over their bodies? I mean nobody was born evil and mean. Don't tell me they forgot those times when they weren't evil and mean? Why would anyone choose WAR over PEACE? They never learn from past mistakes do they?

ARGH!!

They even bombed a Red Cross van/ambulance. They're NOT SUPPOSED TO!! They are not supposed to harm any Red Cross people. What is WRONG with them?!

And what is UP with the bigger countries? Like US and UK. Are they supplying Israel those bombs? Does Bush think he's the leader of the world? Does he know he's not God? Seriously! And what is the UN doing about all this anyway? They're the ones who're supposed to settle all this conflicts right? Aren't they supposed to be the ones everyone listens to? Why doesn't the prime minister or whoever the leader of Israel, (Olmert right?) want to settle all this? What the hell does he want from Lebanon or from the world?

All these people, all these bad people, are one heluva greedy bastards.

ARGH!!

I wish I could do something. Just tell me what to do to help! I just can't get over the thought of assholes harming children. What a childhood they're having. They're scarred for the rest of their lives. I wish I'm rich. I'll adopt all the children that's suffered and make them the most beautiful places/homes in the whole wide world. They'll have sufficient food and drinks. They'll have proper education and they'll live together regardless of race or religion. I'll hire, no, ask for volunteers (cuz money might have something to do with their decision) to help raise and help these children. And these volunteers had better treat them right.

To myself: Keep on dreaming.

I wonder what Oprah's doing.

Anyway, if I've said anything offensive or if I've sided with anyone, whatever, forgive me. I'm sorry I called you people names. What do you want me to address you as? Mean people instead of jerks and bastards and assholes? I don't think I've actually sided with anyone right? I mean if I did, it's too vague to prove anything right? I only talked about children, mainly. Don't hunt me down and get me arrested or anything ok. What? Anything could happen.

Oh man.. why must everything eventually brings down to race and religion? Why? You believe it that God, I believe in this God. Simple as that. Why the hate? You wear what you want/have to, we wear what we want/have to. Simple as that. Why the disgust? Whatever you and I think is right, let's keep it at that, to ourselves, if we think it might cause trouble if we speak out. We'll just wait to be judged when we die. Why the conflicts?

ARGH!!

And this irritating MSN, more like the users I think. Keep on popping up, online, offline, online, offline. Make up your mind already!
In my own world,
8:21 PM

HAPPY 41ST BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!

I LOVE YOU, SINGAPORE!!!

I'm a Singaporean. And forever will be.

My Home,
Wherever I may be,
I believe
You will always be a part of me.

Those who watched the NDP, the kid police is SOOOOOOO cute!!!
In my own world,
8:12 PM

1st of August, Tuesday, Nurses' Day.
I went to register for my car licence thingy. I still have to book a date to take the test.

2nd of August, Wednesday.
School of Health Science celebrated Nurses' Day. It was AWESOME. So AWESOME that I wish I could bring all my friends who are not from School of Health Science to the celebration. I LOVE Ngee Ann Polytechnic School of Health Science! We're the best!! All of us had a blast. There was HS Idol. Tini got 2nd runner up. A Year 1 won the title HS Idol. He's nice I suppose but his singing.. well.. I'd rather vote for the guitarist, Stephen. Not to offend Kadir (the HS Idol) but without Stephen, the whole thing wouldn't have been nice, as quoted by Nisa. Anyway, Tini CAN sing. She's really good. I wish those who haven't heard her sing could hear her. Anyway, the whole thing was FUN! All of us were screaming like it was the last time we can scream. I had a sore throat that night by the way. I didn't think it could get worse. But it did.

3rd of August, Thursday.
I got sick. I thought it was only early morning sickness, sneezing and runny nose. But it didn't stop. Went to school, Aisyah was sick too. We both caught the same type of bug. Well, it was really bad. I got home, all I could do was lie on my bed. I slept most of the time. On and off. It was HORRIBLE.

4th of August, Friday.
It was confirmed I have flu. I wanted to die. I hate being sick. It suck being sick. I never want to be sick again. Anyway, we had Basic Cardiac Life Support (BCLS). I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE BCLS. Ok those of you who don't know what BCLS is, well, it's about saving lives. Hahah. We learnt One-Man and Two-Men CPR, Infant CPR, Adult and Infant Choking. I love doing all these. I like doing CPR. But it's tiring. Very VERY tiring. And my hands hurt. There're areas on my hands when I touch, it hurt. Like how it would hurt touching a bruise, blue-black. Yea. What's more on my palm, near the wrist there, there's zip marks. The mannequin had on a jacket with a zip up front. So when we did CPR, we had to press on the zip area. I think the mark on my palm is permanent. It hasn't gone.

I hope I get well (flu & hand pain) before Tuesday cuz I have BCLS test that day.

The background music, We Are Singapore, was a song for Singapore's National Day in 1988. But they repeated it again many years after. That's how I know of the song. I mean I was born in 1988, how could I have heard and remember the song then right? Well anyway, I love this song. And the video, which I couldn't find anywhere on the internet. It's very.. patriotic I guess? Makes me very proud of Singapore. And it's been a long time since I've said the Singapore pledge. It's in the song by the way. I think I'm playing this song for quite some time. And then I'll change to the most current one, My Island Home, NDP 2006 Theme Song.



Sing,
A song of Home,
A land of peace,
Where dreams are born everyday.
My Home, wherever I may be,
I believe,
You will always be a part of me..
- My Island Home (National Day Parade 2006 Theme Song)
9th August, Singapore's Birthday!
In my own world,
1:50 PM