Blogskin done by 16thday with image from Taringa .

Thanks to "someone whom" i "wish to know", my day is ruined. I don't know what his/her problem is.

Anyway, I've finished my common tests. The papers are alright I guess. I'm just not that sure about Psychology and Sociology. But I think I did well for my NS 3 paper cuz my teacher told me so. Hahaha! I was at Qn number 9 of my NS 4 paper when she walked to my desk to sign attendance. That's when she told me I did very well for my NS 3 paper. I was like "Huh? You've marked the papers already?" Haha. Then when she walked away, I kept reading the question 9 again and again. Bloody hell. Couldn't concentrate sia. But I was damned happy please.

Yesterday was the last paper and after that I had this interview for the Student Leader role in the Cambodia Trip. Right after the interview was over I was damned sure I wouldn't get it. I've learnt a lesson from it. In your resume or whatever, never write your weakness points. What a disappointment.

Today, I didn't have school but I had to go back to school for Mandarin Class. We all received our comments for our role play assessment we did last week. I guess mind was quite positive except that my body language was a bit stiff. I was freaking nervous see so the thought of gesturing and using my hands and stuff seemed far from my mind. And my voice was too soft. But overall, I think I did pretty well.

Tomorrow I'll be staying over in school for the Movie Marathon. And I've been invited to go clubbing.

See, all these makes me happy. Doing well in my paper and my Mandarin class, going for the movie marathon and asked along to go out. Then I got an email from a new friend. I want to chat with him again but he's never online when I'm online. And someone who hasn't been messaging me for a long time, messaged me. My mood was perfectly good until I read the comment "someone whom you wish to know" made on my blog.

Just go away if you're trying to make me feel down. And you say you want to make me happier? Did a good job on that. *smirk*
In my own world,
11:15 PM

They're so adorable!

If you don't know who they are, they're the twins in Disney Channel The Suite Life of Zack & Cody.

In my own world,
12:46 PM

I've no school today cuz our lecturers have gone for a staff retreat. It was nice waking up late for once in a long long time, wrapped up in my comforter, to a cool morning.

My group (Jega, Tini, Vani, Aisyah) and I won free Golden Village movie tickets from our lecturer, Kylie! We did a good job for our presentation. Yay-ness!

Anyway, yesterday I had my Mandarin Assessment. We had to do a role play speaking entirely in Mandarin. I was partnered up with Rino. We finished our script in time, thank God. I sought help from Zhang Yang. I have to credit her. Hahah.

So I've practiced my lines quite a few times already. I tried to memorize them. I was able to but only for those easy ones. But I thought I could do alright. I have to. It's 30% of my grades. That's really heavy.

Class starts. There were 12 pairs. We're the 11th. As it got nearer to our turn, I suffered from tachycardia. I could feel blood rushing through my veins and I thought that people would be able to see my heart thudding. They wouldn't have to use the stethoscope to hear the sound of my heart beating and count the beats. My legs couldn't stop moving. I was shifting in my seat so often that people might think I've to go to the toilet. Which could be true cuz I did feel like I had to go to the toilet. I was so nervous that I was babbling to my partner and everything seemed so bright but I saw everything in a blur. Like it's going so fast. I have stage fright. Also these symptoms appear everytime I have to do something that's graded such as exams and oral exams.

My partner on the other hand didn't show a sign of nervousness.

Then it's our turn. Even though I FELT nervous, I didn't think I LOOKED nervous. At least not as nervous as I've described. So we went up and began. My mind almost went blank. During the role play, I could feel my legs shaking! I tried to stop it but couldn't. Besides I didn't have time to stop it cuz I had my lines to say. I was able to say the lines quite well. Most were fluent. Overall I thought it went ok. We made the class laugh at one part and had applause at the end. So I thought it went ok.

When I got back to my seat, you have NO idea how relieved I felt. My heart was still beating like I've just ran miles but it was starting to slow down. Then our teacher gave us her comments. Guess what she said about me? She said I could speak clearly and I acted and behaved naturally. I was damned happy!! In addition, I actually heard some agreements from others. I heard "Yea" and I saw some nodding of heads. SO HAPPY!! I hope I get great marks.

I'm so excited I feel like jumping up and down.

Damn. I love feeling happy. I wish I can thank Eleanor Roosevelt. Hahah. And my lecturer, Dr. Thomas Sim. He taught me that if I smile to myself, I'd feel better, I'd get happier and happier. But if I frown, then sad thoughts will come to mind and I'll get more and more unhappy.

And I think I should thank myself too. Cuz I made it damned clear to myself to stay positive. When I feel like I'm on the brink on the sadness side, I'd tell myself to smile and remember the quote. I'd tell myself that it does me no good to feel down. Besides, I want to look pretty. Frowning and feeling sad or behaving like an ogre won't make me look pretty. So, smile!
In my own world,
1:24 PM

Right now, I'm hating my 3rd sister A LOT! She's rude and so annoying and bloody idiotic. The worst thing is that she's RUDE. I hate her! She has no sense of respect for the elder. NONE. She makes me so mad I wish I could hit her hard. I see red everytime she talks rudely to me. ARGH!!

But other than that, I'm quite happy. Especially for the fact that I'm getting along with my friends. I'm suddenly feeling confident and good-natured among my friends. Usually I'd have this pissed off feelings towards my friends. But this month, not that much. Well, except for that one day where they hated me for expecting better for a group presentation.

I'm in control of my emotions. That's good. I feel good and I want to stay this way. I shall go about the world with little worries. I won't get so self-conscious, wondering what people think about me or are saying about me when I walk past or turn my back, which would lead me to low self-esteem and therefore, no confidence at all.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt.

That will be the quote I'll live by. No one can make ME feel inferior without MY consent. Got that?

And now, problem of the day: How do I make a friend see that I care, instead of her thinking that I'm such a bossy, arrogant, insulting person?

See, this friend of mine might as well not go to school. She goes to school, attends some lectures but most of the time she doesn't pay attention. She'd be talking on the phone in hushed tones with her boyfriend. It's getting on my nerves. She might as well not attend the lecture!

And her boyfriend. How could he continue the conversation when she's in the middle of a lecture? Doesn't he want her to pay attention in class and do well in school? He calls at least once per lesson. And I just don't understand why my friend should answer his calls just to tell him she's in class and then hang up! Can't she wait until the end of class or lecture?

Not only does she hardly pay attention in class/lecture, she skips lectures too. A LOT of lectures, more than 5 I'm sure. So now, I've already said that she might as well not attend the lecture if she's talking to her boyfriend almost the whole time and not paying attention, but in addition, she's skipping lectures, she might as well not attend school at all! She's already caught for getting other people to help her tap her card for attendance but she still does it! She still asks others to tap her card for her.

I wish I could tell her: "Hey, you know, you might as well not attend the lectures. You're not paying attention. And you're skipping lectures, wouldn't I make sense if I say that you might as well not attend school at all?"

But I'll sound mean and disgusted and bossy and proud. How do I make her
-pay attention in lectures and classes,
-make her stop answering her boyfriend's call in the middle of lectures and classes,
-make her tell her boyfried to stop calling her when she's in lectures or classes and
-make her attend lectures?

How do I tell her that she's bonded and she has to get good grades because of that? How do I remind her that she had said she wanted to work hard but she's not doing what she's supposed to do? How do I ask her whether she wants to get good grades and if she just want to stop at borderline, average? Doesn't she want to go further, better herself?

How do I say all these to her without being seen as bossy or naggy or insulting? Am I mean and sarcastic and harsh? Or am I caring? I thought that's what friends are supposed to do.

I don't know how I'm going to go about doing it when I'm predicting that she'll give me the insincere plus sheepish smile, telling me that she won't change her mind to not skip lecture, to not talk on the phone during lectures and classes? She'll probably turn her back on me to another friend so that I won't be able to see her face and give a frown, saying that she hates me for telling her all this.

What the hell do I do?
In my own world,
10:01 PM

Let me continue from where I stopped yesterday. So as early as 5.45am we had already started welcoming the guests from all over the world. Some were easy to get while others were quite frustrating. There were a few time where we had to wait for almost 3 hours for the guest to come out of the arrival exit. It was tiring. During breaks most of us slept. We were sprawled everwhere on the floor behind the counter.

The first day, which was on Saturday, I went home at about 11pm after meeting my parents at the airport who came to pick me up. I dragged my mom to a shop where I saw pretty crystal rings. I chose 3 of them. My mom paid for them. Haha. It was quite expensive so I had my mom help me pay for them. Haha.

I almost got a sprained ankle when going down the stairs at the carpark. I must have been really sleepy. God.

The next day, I had to be at the airport at 6.30am. I don't think I had enough sleep. So anyway, that day was a bit more busy. Met some of the guests, shook hands with them and talked to them. I had to help carry a luggage for one of the guests. God, was it heavy. But of course, no complaints were heard from me cuz I didn't mind. Anwyay, during a lull between the flights, we went for breaks. I went shopping. Sort of. Bought a 2007 planner. And 2 keychains. I couldn't help it. They were damned cute. And, of course, we also slept.

Well, overall, I had quite a nice time. I like to see when people came back from overseas and their families came to welcome them home. It was so heartwarming. Especially when the Dads come home and the kids ran to them. I couldn't help smiling. How could anybody not?

I really love RCHN NP Chapter. I'm really happy and thankful that I joined the chapter.

And I love Julie Garwood's books! I want my friends to read them. I really do. Just finish one book and tell me if you like it or not. If you don't then fine, I won't bother you again. Her books are the best.

Who am I talking to? Haha.

Anyway, now is time to concentrate on my revision.




Don't worry. I won't turn to him the next time.
In my own world,
3:47 PM

I didn't dare look at anyone in the train or the bus today cuz I was afraid I'd shock them with how ugly I look. I have dark circles under my eyes due to lack of sleep. My sleep debt has accumulated to about.. hmm.. 1 year?

Anyway, last Friday, those who took part in the Asian Pacific Conference as the Airport Ambassadors had to be at the Red Cross Headquarters at 7pm. I finished school at about 3.30pm. So at first I thought maybe I'd stay in school for a few hours to read but then Shermine suggested we go jalan-jalan!! Haha. We went to City Hall and shopped and window-shopped. I bought another pair of slippers at U.R.S!! It's bloody pretty, I tell you. I love it. I think my previous slippers of 1 year that broke was also from U.R.S. I like U.R.S slippers.

Then we went to shops. Expensive shops too and looked at clothes and shoes. Wow. And then there was this Toyota showcase. Featuring the Toyota Camry. It's HUGE! Very sleek and pretty. I persuaded Sher to get into the car. She was like waaayy excited. The car was very spacious. I might want that car too.



Then we shared a plate of Beef Lasagne and a slice of cheese cake. By the time the cake was half eaten, we were trying our best to keep the food down. At that moment, after finishing the dishes, if you were to say chocolate or cake or cream, we might have just throw up.

So after that, we went our separate ways. I went to the Red Cross HQ to collect the APC shirts and have a briefing. It ended about 10pm. I suddenly felt really exhausted and just needed cheering up. But the person I wanted to ask for some cheering up didn't even reply. So I'm like "I couldn't be bothered."

I think when I got home, after washing up, I went to bed straight away since I had to be at the airport at 5.30am! I don't think I've went out of my house earlier. I left my house at 5am. There wasn't even a bus available at that time ok. But I took a cab. It should be expensive because there's midnight charge and going to the airport have to pay extra. But luckily I didn't have to pay that much.

There are too much to talk about. I don't feel like continuing right now. I'm exhausted.

Sigh..
In my own world,
8:35 PM

Just got home from school.

Just want to say that I'm loving life right now. Especially with school.

I love school.

=)

I need to go on a shopping spree. There are so many things I need to buy.

I need a break. I'm exhausted.

I want to go to the Phantom of the Opera musical. Anyone wants to come with me? Please? I'm desperate to see the show live.

I can't wait for the Cambodia trip. Ok so Kylie's not chosen those who'd be going yet, but. Oh God, please let me go. I think I'm one of the first to sign up for the trip please. I have to get a place in the trip!

I need to, want to, have to and must be rich. At least have enough to last me like 20 years at a time.

I am one selfish, money-minded, greedy, self-centered, shallow bitch.

Haha.
In my own world,
9:54 PM

I so feel like bitching! But I'm too nice and I don't want to hurt anyone.. anymore. Haha.

Anyway!

Yesterday went to the airport to get ourselves 'familiarized' with the layout and how we would be going about welcoming the guests for the Asian Pacific Conference thing. It was boring. I'm only excited for the day itself and the outfit we will wear and the meeting of guests!

After that Wilson and I were practically having an SMS battle. He said this, I said that and in the end all end up confused. Hahah. But anyway, watched a movie called "Step Up". The guy is so hot, please. When he danced, I was like "Ohh, maaan". Ok actually more like "Wow!!!!!". I've made up my mind. One day, I WILL learn to dance. Just wait until I have money.

So yea. Enjoyed yesterday. Actually I wanted to watch Flushed Away cuz I heard it's bloody cute. But it wasn't showing.

Today Tini, Jega and I went to court. We finally got to sit in a hearing. In the court, I was hmm.. not myself. Tini said I was quite high and I kept making them laugh. Sometimes I don't know what I said or do that is so funny that they, especially Tini, would laugh so hard at me. Anyway, it was.. quite boring cuz we didn't sit in a trial case. It was a mention. Then we went to eat and shopped for shoes! Ok. I shopped for shoes. The other two just followed. Hahah.

Common Tests are coming in 2 weeks time! I've to start revising like at this second! I'm damned stressed out. Nursing is NOT and easy job, I tell you. Those who think people join Nursing because they have no other choice, can I just beat you up? You just have no idea. When I think of how some people have it in their shallow minds that we join Nursing is because we have no other choice, I get so pissed that my eyes blur from the angry tears.

Yay! I can't wait for 1st of December! Our school's having this movie marathon thing. It's an overnight event, watching 6 movies for free. I'm like waaayyy excited. And then the next day, I have Red Cross Duty for the RED Camp. I hope nothing happens cuz I might not be in the right state of mind after watching movies and may be not sleeping.

And then, I'll have my clinical attachment. Quite nervous actually after I heard KK is going to be really particular and strict. My future workplace. I have to give a good impression. Please don't let me have a traumatic event during this posting.

28 Dec, I'd take my FTT. I've not studied for that either.

OH! And The Phantom of the Opera is coming to Singapore next year! As in LIVE. It's a live play, an opera, a musical or something. I have to go!! I want to go!! I saw the movie and it was superb! Absolutely grand.

I've got to get myself a gargantuan calendar. I feel like I've so much going on and I just need to jot it down to ease the clogging up of my brain with events and dates. And I want to add details about my menstrual cycle so that I'm more aware of my own body and more importantly, expect when my PMS would start so that I'm prepared and I can lay low.

What a mess. I think I'm going to do it right now.

Or should I study first? I'm stressed to the max, please.
In my own world,
9:03 PM

I'm sick. I think I have the flu.

MONDAY
Remember the cute guy I used to talk about? My NP cute guy? Well... I got his number. Why no hundreds of exclamation marks you ask? That's because I haven't messaged him. Actually, I didn't ask for his number. I just wanted to know if he's attached so if he is, I wouldn't have to waste my time liking him. But Aisyah's guy was like all confident and super ready to ask my cute guy for his number. Hahah. We have't even told him what we wanted. Hahaha. Aisyah's guy's really cool.

WEDNESDAY
In school, Maternal Infant Nursing was surprisingly interesting. We watched a video about labour. I don't know if I can survive the contractions. How to become a mother like this? Oh by the way, before we went for the lecture Nisa, Aisyah and I had lunch, then we walked to the LT. Guess who we saw!! We saw Nisa's and my cute guy!! We were like super excited ok. And both of our cute guys were at the same place. As in they were there together. Could it be that they're friends?? How cool's that! Anyway. At home, I was at the point of breaking point when I finally went to bed at 1 in the morning after finishing up a project. It really sucked.

THURSDAY
The presentation turned out not like what I'd like it to be. But when I told the others that, they hate me for it. Anyway. Then at 6pm, I had my Mandarin class. Funny to the core!

FRIDAY
NSL was interesting. Enjoyed pasting stickers on people's faces. haha. Then Tini and Aisyah went out, ******** lecture. Hahah. I spent my two hours before the lecture at the library, reading. I love books! And Julie Garwood rocks!

SATURDAY, today
I went to court in the morning. It's for school. Got to the Subordinate Court but found out there weren't any hearing. Vani was kinda pissed I think. Anyway, she went off first and the rest of us, me, Aisyah, Tini and Jega went for breakfast at McDonalds. Then Aisyah left to meet her guy and the rest of us went to VIVO CITY! It was quite a fun day. And I bought new slippers! Pretty. Tomorrow I'm going out again. For the airport recce and watching a movie at Vivo.

You know what? I think this weekly update doesn't really work for me. Cuz I can't remember most of the interesting things that happened during the week. So I'll go back to my old ways where I blog whenever I want.

I'm so sick!!
In my own world,
6:57 PM

It's time for a weekly update.

Actually I can't remember most of what happened this week. A lot happened, that, I know. But I can't remember anything except for the weekly Mandarin class. As usual, it was great.

Today, I went out raya with my coursemates. We ate a lot! Like super a lot! But I wouldn't be surprised if I don't gain any weight cuz I can't gain any weight. Anyway, it was fun. 30 of us. We hired a bus. We went to pretty houses from the west to the north and to the east. Took lotsa pictures. Most memorable part of this outing was that I fell in LOVE!! With a 10-year-old boy! He's so handsome! When he grows up.. WOW! He already has 2 older brothers who are like.. WOW! He's sooo cute! Super adorable to the max. Totally LOVE.

Things I didn't like about today was the weather. It was extremely hot and humid. The worst. Another thing I didn't like was that my mom's friend came to my house but I wasn't there. See, she has the most cutest son in the whole world. He's my little boyfriend! And I missed him! He's 6-years-old. Absolutely adorable! Everyone finds him cute. And I missed him! I'm damn depressed and mad about this, please. Knowing how cute he was when he was here and not having to see him is the worst feeling. I'm so upset.

I need a hug. Speaking of hugs, I'm on the verge of telling the person who gave me hugs until it's now a total of 1000, to show himself/herself. 'Fess up. Who are you?

Thanks to those who came to my house and forced themselves to eat.

Anyway, those who came were:
Hartini
The 3 Aisyah's
Nisa
Farrah
Hanisah
Anis
The 2 Nurul's
Nadia
Syakinah
Raihanah
Riana
Lina
Ida
Nadeerah
Diana

Saab
Ashraf
Aliff
Clement
Mahesh
Taufiq
Sophian
Muhaimin
An-nur! The 10 yo boy I was talking about, this is his eldest bro.
Two of Saab's friends.

I can't remember if I left anybody out.

We got CCA Points too!! Yay-ness.
In my own world,
11:03 PM