Saturday, June 12, 2010
Baby boy.
Previous night, I dreamt that I was about 4 months pregnant. In it, instead of feeling joy, I felt scared. Maybe it's got to do with the fact that in the dream, I wasn't married with a husband. And although there was a guy in my dreams, I felt that the baby wasn't his. I didn't know who the father was. I'm not promiscuous at all. I just happened to be pregnant. I was fearful of what the guy and my family would think.
My quickened heart rate didn't slow down even after I woke up. To describe the feeling, I'd say it's the kind of feeling when you wake suddenly in the wee hours of the morning thinking you're late for an important meeting. The sudden pick up of the heart made you feel like vomiting and hyperventilating.
At work last night, I held an adorable baby boy in my arms. He was almost falling asleep, suckling his pacifier. How my heart yearned for my own. When my friend asked if I wanted a baby or if I'm ready for one, I was surprised at my quick answer, "Yes", and the longing feeling that rushed over me.
In my own world,
8:18 AM