Blogskin done by 16thday with image from Taringa .

I'm looking good today. I'm dressed, made up. In anticipation of seeing cute pilots, I had a hairdresser do my hair right before I was supposed to go out to meet them. I was looking forward to touching a fighter plane, watch the aerial display of the F16, maybe try the flight simulator and hopefully have my pictures taken with the pilots in uniform next to a jet.

I was supposed to go to the RSAF Open House 2008 today.

But I'm at home. After getting the text, I went home after getting my hair done for nothing. I got it ruined when it started raining. My make up doesn't look fresh anymore. I had to change out of my outfit. And the only thing I watched was TV, the only pictures I took were *cough* of myself and now I'm suffering from a stomachache from eating expired mayonaise.

Hope can be such a bitch sometimes.

But before anybody gets any kind of feelings, I'm fine. I think. And if you-know-who is reading this, it's ok. I'm not mad.

I guess I have to wait for the next Open House. I don't know if it'll be as great because it's their 40th anniversary this year. And people go over the top for anniversaries.

Hmm. Let's see. What's the next thing to look forward to? There's the MI Gathering next weekend, which I have no idea if it'll make history because so far only 2 or 3 out of 10 RSVP-ed. I'm just so tired of planning already. I'm going to wait until the last minute to chase them and if they can't make it, I'll make a last minute cancellation. Ha. Ha. As if. I can't do that. I'm the kind of person that will plan what to wear a couple of days before, make sure I have all the numbers, the directions.

Maybe I should go with the flow more.

UPDATED at 9.52PM
I have a favourite writer I want to share to all of you. His name is Dave Barry. He mostly writes articles I think. I first came across him while reading the newspaper. He's awesome. His articles are full of humour. I totally laughed out loud whenever I read his columns. Here's an article he wrote that got me into fits of laughter. I urge you to read it yourself. Especially when you need something interesting at this moment right here, this second.

A Healthy Dose of Pain by Dave Barry
In my own world,
3:54 PM

Yoo-hoo!

Today, after taking a few hours of shut eye after night shift, I went to meet Tini and Aisyah for a catching up session.

We went to Vivo City. Actually we wanted to catch the movie 4bia but the tickets sold out and the next show time was a bit too late. Anyway, I've already seen it but the other two girls have not. It's quite a good horror movie, with some humour in it. This show is rated NC16 in Singapore. So of course, I can easily get in. But, you know what happened? The ticket person actually asked for my ID! She said I looked young. Hahah. I looked like someone below 16 years old. That's like at least 5 years younger than my real age. Isn't that awesome? Haha. The secret to my youthful look? Short hair. Hahah. Which doesn't seem to work on Tini since she said I looked mature with my current hairstyle. Aisyah, however, disagrees with Tini. Haha. Good good.

Ok. We couldn't find any other interesting movies so we left and ate at The Chicken Rice Shop. So expensive. I only ordered Stuffed Fish Balls Soup, which was a tad salty. We chatted and updated each other on our lives, all of us stressing about the JCI audit. I hope I don't get audited. I want to be on night shift on that day but as it's an audit, I don't know which day they'll come to CE.

Anyway, after eating we went shopping and had Chocolate Fondue at Haagen Daz. Talked and laughed some more and we decided to go for a short and cheap holiday in mid-November to Genting Highlands. Tini got all excited. Remember, you guys, take your leave between 13-16th November, yea? We'll discuss further during our next outing.

Then we went to the Sky Park and chilled.

I had a great time with them. It's been super long since we've last seen each other, so the meeting up session was good. I'm looking forward to our next meet-up when we'll break fast together. Can't wait!!






I'm so pale.
In my own world,
11:50 PM

The glare from the computer screen is the only light that's helping me see the letters on the keyboard. So don't mind me if you see lots of spelling mistakes. Of course, being me, I'll probably edit the entry if there are any mistakes. That's because grammatical, vocabulary, spelling mistakes are one of my pet peeves. I can't stand it when English are not written correctly. I'm not saying that my English is perfect, but those obvious errors make me cringe. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about English. I'm here to rant.

Currently, I'm utterly dissatisfied with my life. If I were to take the short quiz on How Happy Are You?, like the one Oprah took with her audience, I'd fail miserably. Work hasn't been really good. And this time, I'm not exactly talking about the patients. Working life is so full of politics. And I've been misunderstood and lectured that I'm actually shocked. Can you imagine, you've always thought of yourself as very helpful. You'd do anything that's being asked of you. The right stuff, anyway. You're the kind that has difficulty saying no when someone's in need of help. But someone comes along and says you're lazing around. It's like a slap in the face! It ruined the rest of my day. And when you found out that people has been talking about you behind your back. I would say it hurts. Now I can understand how some of my colleagues feel.

I think my problem is that I've low self esteem. My confidence level is not very high and it seems to be dropping. So people would say, build up your confidence. Be confident. But how the hell do I do it?

Well, basically, right now, I feel so shitty. Today, for the first time, I broke down because of work. I feel like the world's against me. People hate me. And I'm starting to hate people too. At this point in my life, I feel like such a fake. I'm faking my smile, I'm faking the friendly tone in my voice. It's a good thing I'm wearing a mask. A wall's building up and I don't know if anybody can knock it down.
In my own world,
4:46 AM

I realized that I hardly ever talk about work in my blog. Right? Actually, there are lots to talk about work. Maybe because I feel like my blog is too public. And it has got me into trouble before. Work has lots of issues that, to me, belongs in the confidential category. So maybe that's why I don't talk about work.

But I can talk about the feelings work brings me. Only I won't talk about it now.

What I actually came to say was, that I miss driving school. Haha. But after Shikin leaves that place, I don't think I'll miss it that much. Cuz the ties with that school is not there anymore.

Anyway, nature's calling.
In my own world,
1:23 PM

Listen up everyone! There's a new driver in town! Me! Finally, right? Hahah.

Yesterday, I had my last lesson and my instructor did a final assessment on me. He pretended to be the traffic police. So while I drove, he stayed silent and just mark on his sheet of paper of the mistakes I did. So that was my first impression of what the actual test will be like. Anyway, one of the test is Emergency Brake. It was very, very long time ago since I practiced emergency braking. So when he hit the dashboard hard (that's the signal to do an emergency brake), I jumped with shock and was like "What?!" At first I thought he was swatting a fly. Hahah. But then, the lesson on emergency braking came rushing back to me. Really, I had a flashback. So then I braked hard. Scared me half to death!

Then there was the parallel parking. Dear God! After yesterday, I thought if I failed today's test, it's because of parallel parking.

What else happened yesterday. Hmm. Oh yea. An instructor said I looked beautiful. Oh my God! Haha. Plus I may be making a new friend soon, on the day Shikin asks me out with, hopefully, Edmund!

I couldn't sleep at first that night, but when I did, I dreamt three (3) times that I was taking my TP test. The first dream, I failed the test because I knocked down a pole while parking. I can't remember what happened in the second, but the third dream, I passed my test. After that dream I kind of surfaced a little to the real world and realized I was only dreaming and in my subconscious state I muttered, "It was only a dream... I hate dreams."

So today came. It was nerve wrecking! The waiting of the traffic police who'll be testing us and determining whether our wallets will have an extra card, our driving license, the balloting of our test routes, all that made me have palpitations that got me lightheaded.

I was fortunate enough to get a great warm up instructor. I was lucky enough not to get a test route that we had to do a U-turn at the starting point of the huge 4-lane expressway. And I was blessed enough to get a nice and friendly, not at all mean and scary, traffic police.

Well, maybe I'm the kind of person that excel under pressure. Because during the warm up session and the test itself, I did my parallel parking perfectly fine! I was so relieved once I was out from that parking slot. But then of course, it's not over yet. There's still the roads outside. I did ok, I guess. I thought I did quite a number of mistakes. So when I finally finished with the test, I kinda expected myself to fail. But my tester gave me the result; I passed. I was SO relieved, my heart was SO at rest, I thought it has dropped to my feet and stopped beating. Only I was grinning and my eyes were wide with happiness that I knew I couldn't be dead.

I got so many congratulations, two from my instructors that has my number, Chris and Idris, who called me and made me laugh. Hahaha. Idris called from a private number and pretended to be someone from the Traffic Police Centre, saying that there's a mistake in my license or whatever. Haha. AS IF!

Anyway, anyway. Today was also the day I said goodbye to the driving school. I'm actually going to miss going there, having all the male instructors around me. Lucky Shikin! Girl, I'm waiting for our date with Edmund!

When I got home, my dad was already bugging me to go for a test drive in his car. Almost reluctantly, I went. Tested. Tried parking without poles or cars. Needed several tries. After that I drove to fetch my mom home. Reached our multi-storeyed carpark. And almost died. Of frustration. Now I had to park in between two cars. WHAT?! But the worse thing was one parent telling me to do this and another telling me to do that. They were so contradicting that I could have crashed one side of the car. I almost cried in frustration! Good thing my dad's car is auto, or I would need crutches for my leg that has to control the clutch, too. Grr. But finally, I got the car into the slot.

While driving, I realized there are quite a number of motorists that aren't that courteous as taught when they were in driving school. I saw a huge lorry carrying cement changed lanes without signaling. Good thing he wasn't moving into MY lane or I would have blurted out an expletive.

I'm a new driver. So I have to put this bright orange P plates that indicates to other drivers that I'm a newbie at driving, freshly graduated. But I find that's not enough. Maybe I should get like a message blinker thing installed to the back of my car. So I can give messages to other drivers on the road. Like, "I'M NEW. I MAY DRIVE SLOW... DON'T HONK AT ME!". Or "I'M CHANGING TO THE RIGHT LANE. GIVE WAY... PLEASE!". Then if they give way or if I did something wrong, "THANK YOU..XOXO!" and "I'M SO SORRY!". Or if I see a nice car behind me, "WOOT! YOU THERE! GREAT CAR!" Hahaha.

NB Manual cars are just horrible. I'd like to hear some good things about manual cars, cuz I can't think of one. Auto cars are so much easier. You don't have to worry about violently vibrating engine, stalled engine, noisy engine, clutching and shifting of gears, or sliding on slopes.
In my own world,
2:45 PM

I know I had a Bucket List done before. Well, scratch that. I made that when I knew I had a friend to do those things with me. But now that he's attached and unavailable, not much use is there? At least THIS list has more of an independent factor in them. Because most of them I can do by myself.

Anyway, why such a long time? 5 years? That's because I have to think of time constraints, money problems, and family.

1. Travel to a foreign country by myself.

2. Learn to cook five(5) impressive three-course meal.
And maybe have family and friends over for a dinner party.

3. Spend all of a month salary in one day after passing the S$10, 000 mark.
Which is not easy, considering the fact that I've to deduct sums from my salary for other things, like food, transport, another separate savings account which I can't touch till I'm old or when I've a family, my parents, phone bills, etc.

4. Learn horse-riding.

5. Stay in England for at least 2 weeks and try to get as much out of it as I can.
For whatever reasons. Vacation, work, volunteering program, etc. I really want to visit this country.

6. Go to a concert.
And hopefully meet someone famous.

7. Wade along the seaside and watch a sunset.
No matter if I'm doing it alone or with someone else.

8. Improve my sign-language skills by attending classes held by SADEAF.

9. Go to a play/musical alone and dine unaccompanied in a nice restaurant.

10. Make friends with someone born and bred in another country, and keep in touch.
Hmm.. I think I've done this one.
In my own world,
12:28 AM

I can't stand people who boasts about the kinds of expensive brands they want for bags, watches, whatever shit. Such a bimbo. Ugh. Sure, even I get glittered-eye over Burberry or Prada. But I don't act so rich and actually get one. The part about buying all this when you're not even well off is just so stupid to me.

Like a product of these well known brands can reach to about a thousand dollars? Is it made of gold? So what? It just disgust me that you get blinded by all this. Just be someone of a higher standard with a much higher salary then you, and I'll take all of this back. But you're no where near to being one of these people. Ugh.

I hope you buy all the branded stuff you drool over and become broke. Show off.

Went for a driving lesson today. My instructor was Chris. The first thing that came out of my mouth was, "You have GOT to be kidding me."
In my own world,
11:38 PM

Yay. New layout. The original layout had a different image. This one:



It's alright I guess. Classy. But there's something about having a huge photo of a girl I don't know splat-ted on my blog. So I went all over deviantart.com to find another image that I'd like. And that site is huge. Full of photos and images. Suddenly, I remembered seeing nice photos in this website that I went to shop online. So.. tadaa! It's from Forever 21's website.




This is the original image that I chose. I editted it with Photoshop. Ok, so this image also has a girl I don't know, but it's so much better. It shows the outfit, the book, the landscape, and her face is almost covered with her hat and hair.

Yup. I much prefer this image.

And Forever 21's website is really nice. I've ordered a top, a belt, a tote bag, bangles and a beret. Not bad. Not bad at all.

On to another topic.

I watched the Table Tennis Women's Team Finals today. It was Singapore VS China. China won, which lands Singapore a Silver Medal. Our first medal in the Olympic games. Ever. History in the making, no? No, it's already made. Haha.

After some vague thoughts of wondering whether I'm patriotic or not, I finally sat and really think through and ask myself once and for all if I'm a patriot. If I were to put it in a percentage kind of scale, maybe 70 to 80 percent.

There are some moments where I long to migrate and work in another country so bad, I'd get really sullen. Where I thought that the other country has more nicer things to do and see and be. Where I could have much more adventure and be in awe almost everyday.

But there are also those moments when I'd get goosebumbs and my heart filled with so much pride about Singapore. Especially when National Day comes around and I'd watch the celebration on TV. The show of the F16's Aerobatics, the huge Singapore flag being flown, the marching on the field. It's amazing. It was only 4 years ago, after I've graduated from Secondary School, that I started to get goosebumbs and prideful moments whenever I hear the Singapore Pledge, the National Anthem or the songs they used to make every year for National Day. Hmm.. I'm suddenly having a rush of love?, pride?, patriotism?, that I'm gonna put up photos of the National Day Parade 2008 (NDP 08).

This is a birds' eye view of the parade. Those formation you see are human made, made up of performers and of course, these uniformed men below!

The police!

The navy!

The army!

This is where the Singapore flag is flown in.

And my favourite part of the parade of all time, the Black Knights, Singapore's elite F16s, putting on an amazing show of aerobatics!!




There's a video of this online. Easy to find, if you want to look for it. I'm so going to try to get tickets for the next NDP. Those who've been to NDP many, many times, like maybe 3 times in a row, kindly sell the tickets to me, please. I've only been to an NDP once. And that wasn't even the real event. Remember the Primary 5 National Education? Yea. That was the only time.

Anyway, back to the things that make me have patriotic goosebumbs. There's the international events like the Tiger Cup Football match thing, SEA Games, or currently, the Olympic Games. Or even, a singing competition like the Asian Idol, where Singapore won. Although all matches are very captivating, there's no question that I'd rather see a match where my country is taking part in. I'd always be on the edge of the seat, silently, behind my TV screen, cheering for Singapore. If they scored a goal, or a point, or a race, or a game, or a singing competition, or a medal, I'd jump of the seat and do a one man wave. If they lost, well, there's no guarantee that you won't be hit by a cushion or hear an expletive if you're there with me. Not to worry though. The feeling I get when Singapore lost lasts only a few hours. The feeling of pride when we win, however, takes a little longer to subside.

The Olympic Games 2012 will be held in London. That's in 4 years. What will I be doing in 4 years' time? I'd have finished my bond in KKH by then. Oh my God! Maybe I'll be in England studying or working! Or vacationing! Maybe I'd get a ticket to the games and I'll be able to cheer to my heart's content during a match where Singapore's in. I'd definitely want to sit in on a table tennis match, so I can cheer my favourite athlete, Li Jia Wei.

I'm getting all excited!
In my own world,
5:26 PM

The past 3 days have been quite awesome. On Monday, I met up with my Ward 43 PRCP friends, Amala, Shubin and Liu Jing. After eating, we shopped at Bugis Village. I bought a couple of things. Suddenly I feel like wearing ruffles and baggy tops with a nice belt over it. I think the ruffles was due to watching Witch Yoo Hee.



Han Ga In is gorgeous.

After that, I had to leave for my Night shift at work. It was quite a good night.

Anyway, anyway. Work ended at 0730hrs. And something good happened while I was in the train on the way home. A Caucasean guy showed interest in me!! Oh my God. At first he was just taking secret peeks. Then at his stop, he actually came to the exit that I was standing at, instead of the other exit which was truly nearer to him. As the doors open, his eyes was actually on me but not on my face. You know, the kind where you're shy and you look at the person's hands or bag or some design on the person's outfit. Yea. When he was about to step out of the train, he finally looked up, caught my eyes and gave a smile!!! Of course, I smiled back. I guess, now he's probably somewhere overseas because he had bags with him and he stopped at Tanah Merah Interchange where there's another train to bring you to the Airport. Haha. Anyway, after that, I couldn't stop smiling.

There was another incident. Early in the morning, I crossed the road to the bus stop. A Caucasean guy was also crossing the same road, only it was in the opposite direction. When I looked up, I caught him giving me a smile.

I never would have thought that a Caucasean guy would have some interest in me. Even though I wish for a Caucasean boyfriend, I've always been intimidated by them.

*Shrugs*

Oh well.

Had another night duty. It was busy but manageable.

All right. I'm gonna stop here. Wanna watch "The Moment of Truth" on StarWorld.
In my own world,
9:13 PM

파란하늘이 눈부셔
왠지 가슴이 아파와
나도 모르게 눈가에 이슬 맺히면
상상속에서 나에게
다가올것만 같은 그대를
언제부턴가 기다렸었죠
아직 사랑을 몰라서 그댈 몰라서
언제 사랑이 올까
waiting for U love
그대 조금만 더 가까이
올 순 없나요
내 사랑아 Babe my sweet heart
너무나 많은 사람들
어떻게 사랑하는지
나만 혼자 모르고 살았나봐요
아주 따뜻한 포근한
때로는 달콤한 사랑으로
항상 진하게 내게 있던 그대

아직 사랑을 몰라서 그댈 몰라서
언제 사랑이 올까
waiting for U love
그대 조금만 더 가까이
올 순 없나요
내 사랑아 Babe my sweet heart
생각만 해도 너무나
행복한 너를 볼때면
하루에도 수 천번 사랑한단말
언제 어떻게
사랑이 내게 오려나 기다렸는데
이미 온걸요 그대 알고부터
그대를 위한 자리가
내 가슴속에 있어요
나는 그댈 위해서 태어난 사람
그대 내게로 온다면 함께한 시간
이 순간 부터
꿈처럼 멋진 나의 사랑아
오 나의 사랑아 내게 오기만해

Translation
Love, Come to me.

The blue sky is blinding
My heart hurts for some reason
Dew drops form in eyes without me knowing
In my imagination
It feels like you’re getting closer to me
I’ve been waiting for you, I don’t know since when
I still don’t know love, I don’t know who you are
When will love come to me?
Waiting for U love
Can’t you get a little
Close to me
My love, Babe my sweet heart
All those other people
How can they think of love?
Am I the only one who doesn’t know how?
Very warm and comfortable
And sometimes sweet
With such love you were always with me

I still don’t know love, I don’t know who you are
When will love come to me?
Waiting for U love
Can’t you get a little
Close to me
My love, Babe my sweet heart
Any way that I think about it
When I see you being so happy
And say I love you a thousand times a day
I wondered when and how
Love would come to me
It was already here, Ever since I knew you
There was a place for you
In my heart
I was born to be with you
If you come to me, our time together
From this point on
Will be a dream. My love
Oh, my love, come to me
In my own world,
2:00 AM

Hello, readers!

I'm happy today. Yesterday morning, I finished a good night duty and went to visit Sahirah at TTSH with Fiza. TTSH looks like a mall-cum-hotel. I wanted to see the A&E but we couldn't go in, so there wasn't much to look at. And they have Starbucks! Today, I longed for some iced mocha but I didn't get it. Anyway, Sahirah's warded in 11A. She's hoping it's a short stay. I know she doesn't read my blog but, get well soon!

Reached home at around 0930hrs. Ate and watched an episode of this Korean drama, Witch Yoo-Hee. I love the show! I do, I do, I do! Just like I love the Korean drama, The Coffee Prince. And then off to bed for some rest before a night out with the old girls.

Old girls meaning my secondary school friends that I've not met in almost 4 years. After taking much effort to dress up really nicely (I dressed like a casual Friday working woman, so that it will look like I came out for an after work gathering), I went to meet Zhongwei, Zhige, Xue Yun, Cindy and Melissa at Raffles Place. If you know me, I'm almost like a tourist in my own country. So when we started our journey to Lau Pa Sat for dinner, I was merely following them while taking in the surroundings as much as I could. I had never gotten out of Raffles Place MRT Station before so, it's pretty new to me. Hmm, maybe I did once but there are so many exits out of Raffles Place, I can't remember which one I had gone before.

Anyway, I was so happy to see them after so, so long. But they've been meeting. So when they saw me, and I saw them, we started to ask what we're doing now and stuff like that. Some things haven't change. Like, for example, Zhong, Xue Yun, Cindy, Zhige and I are still single. I felt so belonged, for the first time! Hahaha. Anyway, dinner at Lau Pa Sat was good! It was my first time eating there, even though the place is pretty famous. Tourist; through and through.

After that, we made our way to Timbre located somewhere along the Singapore River. That place is one of my favourite place in Singapore. I especially love the bridge, the river outside the Fullerton Hotel. And the other noted buildings around there. It's a nice view and surroundings. I love it. Anyway, Timbre's a restaurant, chilling out kind of place where there are drinks (which I don't drink) and a live band. The place looked pretty nice. But when we got there, it was full house. We tried waiting but it was too long.

So we headed to Clarke Quay where all the clubs and pubs and restaurants and chilling out areas are. Walked almost everywhere but every place seemed to be full or reserved. Finally we went into this place called Cuba-something. And we have a seat. Ordered drinks and snacks. Talked until a live band came up to perform. It was pretty nice. Just that the music's a tad too loud. We were shouting across the table to be heard. Anyway, most of the time while the band played, we were observing and talking about the dancers and the people in there.

We left at about midnight so that we could catch a bus/train home, unwilling to pay the outrageously expensive cab fare. But I had a really good time meeting up and catching up with my old classmates.

I'm happy.




Oh yeah.


In my own world,
2:24 AM

I feel very distanced from those friends who have a boyfriend. I don't belong.

That lines would have led to a pathetic, self-demeaning, embarrassing story. And I hate to bare myself that way. So I'm just gonna leave it at that.

God! Am I going to die an old maid?

I miss school to the max. When I think of my life now, working life, life without having at least a month or two straight of holidays, unlike school, I get depressed. 21 days of annual leave is bloody hell not enough.

The pay is pretty horrible, to me. So I'm thinking of going to maybe Saudi Arabia (or something like that) to work. I heard nurses can get so much more out there. But my ultimate wish is to study and work in the UK. But I'm starting to worry that I might not get that chance because I've read in the newspaper that UK is tightening it's law or whatever for foreign workers. I read that companies in the UK can only hire a foreign worker if they can't find a citizen of their own to fill the job space.

Foreign workers hoping to fill skilled vacancies in Britain's labour market will have to meet strict new criteria, the Government announced today.

British-based companies will have to prove they cannot fill skilled posts with a resident worker and must show that the job vacancy has been advertised in the UK, unless the job is on the shortage occupation list. Would-be migrants will need a job offer before they even apply for a visa.

To qualify, skilled foreign nationals will have to earn a certain number of points before being allowed to work in Britain. These points are awarded only if a person can prove they will be doing skilled work, speak a good standard of English, and are earning more than £24,000, or have a decent qualification. Employers will need a licence from the UK Border Agency to offer jobs to skilled workers.

Border and Immigration Minister Liam Byrne said:

"Our new points system means that British jobseekers get the first crack of the whip and that only the skilled migrants we actually need will be able to come.

And I'm pretty sure they can get nurses in their own country. So how does that enable me to work over there if the hospitals don't want, or can't, hire me?

This is such a nightmare.
In my own world,
12:26 AM