Blogskin done by 16thday with image from Taringa .

Had my practical yesterday. It was easier than I expected. I was only expected to do the subcu. insulin. I was expecting a combination. Like insertion of NGT with medication administration or catheter insertion. But it wasn't. And I think I did quite well. My assessor kept saying Good, good. *shrugs*

Then we had tutorial and we thought of leaving after that. BUT, Jeanette says we can't leave cuz Chen Ying, our mentor wants to see the whole group. The whole time I thought we were staying back for banner making for Tini and Samad. But when the time came, I got suspiscious. I was wondering why I'm not allowed to see into the class (the meeting place). I was like o-kayyyyy.. Seriously. Then the rest of the group went in but me and Tini wasn't allowed in so I got the thought that they're doing something for our birthdays. But then Mei Mei's birthday is also near ours so why is she allowed in the class? (By the way mine, Mei Mei's and Tini's birthdays are on the 20th, 25th and 26th July respectively.) But then, they shoo-ed Mei Mei out of the classroom. Then it sunk in and I was pretty sure it was a surprise birthday 'party' for us. It was damn sweet. I'm really really honoured and flattered and touched. And it's true what I said about my birthday this year. It's really special.

Anyway, that night went out for dinner with my family.

The whole day and night yesterday was the best and most thrilling day, and night, ever. And this morning was the BEST morning in my entire life! Argh!! Hahah!

Anyway, today my parents, my sister and I went to collect my outfit that I sent for tailoring. I didn't try it on until I reached home. The red dress was really really pretty. The other one needed some adjustment though.

Then we went to SGH to visit my mom's friend, the one that got into the car accident. It's been so long since I've been to a hospital, as a VISITOR. Not a student nurse. Yea so it was.. fine, I guess.

Yea.

And today was as great as yesterday! I've found Mr. Right! This guy's a dream and I'm really happy he likes me back. He might be good for me. Tini and Lia have seen the change in me. Well, I'm not going to say any more about the issue. I might jinx it. To tell you the truth, I really don't want to be this happy because if something happens, I might do or be something that's really not favourable.

Sigh...

And today is James' birthday. So if he reads this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
In my own world,
8:45 PM

I'm in school right now. Having Nursing Research. My worst and least likeable module. I'm predicting and expecting that I'll fail this module. I don't like researching for boring topics and after that having to read the million-word literature and then having to write a review on it. A summary. It suck really. And then we have to do do a proposal with all the methodology and stuff.

Anyway, NSS tutorial was wonderful! I like Ms Ho. She's a great teacher. She told us about the nursing profession overseas. Found out that the pay in US or UK is like S$6000 which is like WOW! I mean if I work here in Singapore, I'll only get like S$1500. So it's like a DONE thing that I'm going overseas to work. I'm really really excited. Ms Ho also said that those European countries like Singaporean nurses because we are hardworking. So I hope life would be easy there. I hope I'd feel accepted.

Tomorrow is my practical test. Right now I'm not really feeling anything about it but I'm sure I'll shake in my uniform when it's finally my turn. I hope I pass.

Updated at 6.44pm
I went to cut my hair! Haha. It's shorter now but still can tie into a small ponytail. I like my fringe! I think I look quite hip (?). Hahah.

I want to piggy back you!
In my own world,
12:42 PM

Today is Hartini's birthday!!! It's her birthday and she's very happy.

I'm also very happy. My inbox is flooded with his texts. He makes me smile and laugh alone in public. I have a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy whenever he messages. Haha. He's such a dear. He's my cute, sweet fisherman. Hahah! And I'm his crab. It's al-most like being in looove! That's a song. By Frank Sinatra. Not that I listen to his songs. Jasmine Tye's singing it in Singapore Idol. And I thought it suited? I can hear and imagine the "errr" and the "ermmmm" and the "o-kayyyy". From Tini especially. Hahah and maybe she can hear this: what-ever. Haha.

For some reason, I don't feel like i'm in the "too many assignments", "too many projects", "very near exam period" kind of mood. I seriously want to be in that mood. I need to get myself to start revising and making notes. I feel so slack-y and lazy and stupid.
In my own world,
8:57 PM

This video and song is LOVE! You HAVE to watch it. Please watch it. And those who did, tell me what you think about it.

I actually teared ok.

Do you ever think about the future?
What do you see?

What Hurts The Most


In my own world,
6:24 PM

My life is so dull. It's as dull as a monocolour television. It's as dull as a monotonous song.

I'm a first aider. I've passed my tests. I got full marks for the theory paper and I'm absolutely proud of myself for that. For practical, the examiner didn't comment anything on me which means I did fine. And I passed. Happy me. I can't wait to get my First Aid licence.

After that, went to Tampines. On the journey I was talking to Sufi on the phone. He's.. ok! Nevermind him! I suddenly remembered something! I saw Fauzi Laily!! The Anugerah guy! I was in the train, standing right in front of the door, talking on the phone. At one station, the door opened and there he was, right in front of me sitting with his girlfriend, facing me! At first when I saw him I was like "Who's this super goodlooking guy?" and "He looks super familiar." And then when I realize who he was, I got super excited! I told Sufi, who was on the other end of the line, that I saw Fauzi Laily and I was like omg, omg, omg!! But of course, on the outside I look totally cool and collected. But was it difficult! He's really good looking. But he's not the only one I saw. I saw his girlfriend too. She wore the head scarf, like me. Same colour some more. And can see she wore make up like 2 metres away. She's very fair and her complexion seems nice. But I don't know la. Like Nisa said, make up.

Got to Tampines and supposed to meet Nisa, Aisyah and their boyfriends. So that Tini and her boyfriend can pick us all up. Noticed something? Noticed something? If you did, damn saddening right. I felt like the third wheel, super extra-ded. Waited quite long for their van to arrive. When it arrived, got into it, and I worried that I might get a heat stroke. Hahah. Arrived at the pit, met Tini's mother and sister. I like them. There was food. Nice food. Tini and I each got a present from Nisa and Aisyah. I was surprised. Thanks both of you! So we ate, talked, photographed. Went it was time for us to leave, I felt extra-ded once again. Like whatever right. Tini and her boyfriend sent me home and the rest to the MRT station.

Got home, and I'm just... bored.
In my own world,
9:56 PM

So today is my birthday. It was a great day. Especially with all my friends. Friends just make it all the more special. I love them a lot ok.

I got a text from Aisyah at midnight wishing me happy birthday. She was the first one to wish me on the day itself. There were others who wished me earlier. Like two days earlier? Haha yea. Tini wished me a few hours earlier. See the comments on my previous entry. She sang me a birthday song! Aww! Haha.

Speaking of birthday songs, I was sung a birthday song more than 3 times today. Wow. The center of attention I tell you. It was super sweet but I was like feeling awkward cuz I was just standing there grinning like some giddy person. Lots and lots of people wished me happy birthday in school, even those I've never talked to before. It was really sweet. And Dr June Mak sang and wished me a happy birthday too! Hahah I'm going to miss her when she retires.

Other than school friends, Nazmi wished me too and Echam and Asri too! Asri sent me an e-mail. He was like "Hey, do you remember me?" and stuff. He's a friend I made when I was in Milennia Institute last year. So sweet that he remembered and bothered to wish me.

Friends. They're just amazing. So is family. They sang me a birthday song before I left for school this morning. Haha.

Anyway, you may think my 18th birthday was boring. Nothing interesting. But.. I don't know.. I just find it really special. The best birthday I had since the last 2 years when I was in Secondary 4.
In my own world,
4:22 PM

I don't know why I even bother updating my blog anyway.

So anyway, I've went through 2 days of the 3-day Standard First Aid course. Very interesting. Especially the practical part. I've learnt how to do CPR. It's soo fun! The instructor was quite fierce. I'm not sure I like him that much. Sometimes he talks out of point which is really frustrating. He's a little complacent and insulting and sarcastic at times. But whatever. This Saturday would be the last day of the course. It's also the day of the First Aid test. And it's on the same day that we'll get our result. I really want to ace it. I want to pass and get my First Aid certification. Speaking of which, I need to get a passport photograph of myself done. I'd be a first aider! Absolutely exciting.

Next Saturday I'm also most likely to go to Tini's birthday pit. Yup.

I'm tired.
In my own world,
9:11 PM

I almost got into a car accident when I was crossing the road towards my house just now. As I stepped into the house, my mother was there and I told her off-handedly that I almost got into a car accident. I was a little pissed that's why I was so.. couldn't be bothered kind of thing. But little did I know, it was, I don't know, a coincidence kind of thing, cuz my mom just got the news that her boss and her close friend got into a car accident. Her boss passed away (I will not cry!) and her friend's in a coma (I will NOT cry!). My mom's boss was quite well known. He got into the news. He was a writer as well I think. My house is full of his books. My mom's boss was like her father. He didn't mind if my mom came a little late or after the lunch break she comes in late (not that she does it on purpose). And her friend, she was quite close to her. Oh God. I feel for my mom. My throat's aching from trying to hold back my tears.

I would go into this philosophical thinking or deep thinking stuff. But I'm not in the mood. This is really saddening. Losing someone close is really hard. It's so hard. I wish I have a secret place where I can cry by myself.

The world is coming to an end.
In my own world,
8:37 PM

School's been ok so far. I've been really sleepy. Extremely sleepy. Kept sleeping in the train and bus. Don't like.

So anyway, on Tuesday I made a new friend. This guy's a dream! He's all the characteristics I want in a guy. Only that there isn't anything going on. Saddening but whatever. He's too far fetched. But I had a nice time talking to him.

On Wednesday I woke up super late. I was supposed to go out of the house around 8 to 8.30 am but I woke up at 8! Probably because I slept like around 1 am the previous night, texting. So I rushed a little but there were still time to take a cab to school. Only it cost me $24! Usually it costs me about $16 ok! The traffic was super slow la. I reached school just in time. I feel so poor. Anyway, we did project at Kim's house. I think Aisyah and I have artistic talents. Mine is more of the abstract kind I think. Hahah.

On Thursday, erm.. can't remember anything interesting.

Today, the most embarrassing thing happened to me! I was in class, the teacher was talking, which means that the class was quiet. What happened was, my stomach growled. It growled SOOO loud, I didn't need a microphone. Tini and Aisyah heard la! Walao. It sounded like thunder sia! So embarrassing! First time ever my stomach growled this loud.

During break, we went to the computer lab and Aisyah showed us this video from youtube.com. It's almost pornographic sia! It was disgusting. The guy was probably super high sia. The most disgusting and insulting thing I've ever saw! It was pure nonsense. Ok, it was this Japanese variety show la. Then got this guy who's called Hard Gay. And he wears this tight outfit and move in a manner that's really.. I don't know. I don't like. If you want to see it, go to the website and search for Hard Gay. GROSS! NOT for me.

Got home, got a call from a friend. He's super funny. Laughed a lot. Fun!

Tomorrow, I have Standard First Aid course. I'm quite excited for it. Whee!

Oh and I was just looking through stuff in my computer and I found a video made by Lia on our previous group. NP HS Grp 11 of 2005/2006. It takes some time to load. So if you really want to see it, click play, then click pause, and then wait for it to load. You'll see the grey bar moving. Enjoy!


In my own world,
8:31 PM

Dear Diary..
Something good happened today.. (actually yesterday)

Hahah. What happened was Danyl contacted me back after so long. A pleasant surprise.

Ok let's talk about some highlights of the Red Cross Camp I went to the other day. We had to come up with a performance to perform during the campfire night. So my group did a skit and sign language and music all in one. We did sign language for the chorus of "That's What Friends Are For". I LOVE it. Sign language is interesting. Another thing that I enjoyed about the camp was that we watched a movie. Hahah. We watched "The Pacifier". Very funny.

I'm sleepy. Anyway, got this from Nor's blog. Was bored and decided to do it.

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME:

1) I can't sleep with out a bolster.
2) I like cloudy and moderately breezy day.
3) I want to travel out of Asia one of these days.
4) I'm scared of growing old.
5) I want a baby boy. But I won't be sad if I got a girl instead.
6) I like money.
7) I'm unable to grow fatter.

7 THINGS THAT SCARE ME:

1) The future.
2) Loosing my loved ones.
3) Creepy crawlies.
4) Growing old.
5) Meeting strangers.
6) Making an error in my work. Eg: medication error.
7) Performing in front of a large audience.

7 RANDOM MUSIC AT THE MOMENT:

1) Move Along - All American Rejects.
2) Here Without You - 3 Doors Down.
3) Temperature - Sean Paul.
4) I Decide - Lindsay Lohan.
5) Have A Nice Day - Bon Jovi.
6) Geek In The Pink - Jason Mraz.
7) Scandalous - Mis-Teeq.

7 THINGS I LIKE THE MOST:

1) My phone.
2) My hair.
3) My photo album.
4) Books.
5) Nice clothes.
6) My MP3 player.
7) Shoes.

7 THINGS I SAY THE MOST:

1) Oh my God.
2) What la?
3) Heyy.
4) Whatever.
5) Part of the lyrics that's been in my head for the whole day.
6) ...like...
7) Haha.

7 PEOPLE I WANNA SEE DO THIS:

1) Who.
2) Ever.
3) Who.
4) Wants.
5) To.
6) Do.
7) This.
In my own world,
4:21 PM

I'm stressed. I've been feeling down for like i don't know.. 2 weeks?

The camp didn't go as well as I hoped it would be. Mainly because I felt super extra-ded cuz I'm the only one who doesn't speak or understand their language. They were all speaking in chinese most of the time. So I was pretty quiet. I don't really want to talk about the camp right now la. The first night I already felt like crying. Hopefully the other camp that's coming up which includes Red Cross members from other chapters from JC and Uni is better. I'm only hoping. I'm not expecting much. You might wonder why I'm still going for all these events even though I have difficulty getting along. I want the CCA points. Otherwise, why would I even join a CCA in the first place, and not attend any events? I'm trying to look forward to the events. I don't want to feel dread. But I know it's inevitable. Sigh..

There're assignments and projects. Life is just suck-y at the moment. It's really suck-y. Super suck-y I feel close to the point of breaking down.
In my own world,
8:18 PM

Remember I told you I was waiting for 11pm to watch Grey's Anatomy? Well, I did stay up till 11. Grey's Anatomy started. And I fell ASLEEP during the FIRST commercial! Oh my God. I think I fainted instead of having fallen asleep. I couldn't feel myself fall asleep I tell you! I guess I was really exhausted. Darn. I missed an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I've never missed and episode. Until now. Damn sad.

Tuesday, Wednesday were afternoon shifts. I can't remember anything interesting that happened. There were some things. I just can't remember what.

Today was quite the worst day of all days. Firstly, I had this terrible stomach cramps that got me doubled over. It hurts really bad. Like something was eating out of my stomach. Like thousands of needles poking again and again in my stomach. But while I was doing a procedure, I didn't realize the pain disappeared until I finished the procedure. What a relief.

So tomorrow would be my last day of CA. I can't wait. I'm not the only one who thinks this is the worst attachment compared to all the attachments we've been to. And then, instead of having rest during the weekends, I have a camp to attend to. Red Cross camp. Another one of those things where I'll be surrounded with strangers. Please let it be nice. Please don't let me dread each day of camp. Oh and I found out there'll be hiking. Oh my God. My legs are going to drop off after the camp. I'm tired. Nurses don't sit that often you know. Sigh..

I can't stand her. She's super kind and cheery and so gigantic-hearted and act blur sometimes and so innocent and bloody sweet that it just annoys me. I might have just described someone next to an angel but OMG. I don't think I can stand being around this kind of people for long. I almost feel disgusted.
In my own world,
4:36 PM

I was dead tired this morning when I woke up to get to CA. I could hardly open my eyes while we were debriefed at the end of the day. Super sleepy like never before I tell you. But my shift was GOOD. The elderly patients in my cubicle, very adorable. Yeah so sometimes I don't exactly know what they're saying to me but you know, it's good. They're talking to me. And we played hand games. Made them smile I tell you! Really adorable and heart-warming.

Wilben is cute and funny.

So then on my way to the bus stop alone, I came across this group of guys. They tegur-ed me. "Balik?" Like DUH!

Went home, took a shower and got ready to head out to meet my mom. I went to Tanjong Pagar Complex to get my uniform altered and get the tailor to make my outfits. SWEET! The tailor's REALLY nice. I like her. And she's good. I already have one dress tailor made by her for my Graduation Nite in 2004. Pretty. So now she's making two more for me. She's so good that a celebrity had had her to custom make her outfit. Neat! I saw Nura J. from Krayon. I didn't know it was her until this other customer went "Eh, Nura J.! Take photo, get her signature." kind of thing. Yup and oh she talked to me! This is the first celebrity who's talked to me! Not like I'm excited or star struck or anything. But it's cool.

Awesome! I'm afternoon shift tomorrow. Don't have to wake up so early in the morning while the rest of the world is still sleeping. Anyway, waiting for 11pm again. Grey's Anatomy, here I come!
In my own world,
8:23 PM

God help me but I'm in love with the man in my dreams. And I mean really, the man IN my dreams. The man I dreamt of. This is torture. How do I make him real?

I want to move house. I want to throw everything that I have away (furniture, clothes and such). I want to start anew. I don't think I can stand this anymore. I'm becoming delusional and paranoid. I hate this! It's getting so bad that I don't even dare to sleep anymore.
In my own world,
11:38 PM