Monday, October 9, 2006
What do you see when you look at me?
I went on hiatus for 3 days. Bored to death but I showed myself I can stick to what I planned. I wanted to cut my contacts with the outside world for three days, and I did. I'm so proud of myself. Which also goes to show that whatever I put my mind to, I can do it. And I will do it, no matter how much the temptation could get to me.
I watched Oprah. I learned that I shouldn't have a low self-esteem. It wouldn't get me anywhere. I shouldn't be so pathetic to get people's approval, trying to be what they like or want me to be. I should be myself. I shouldn't be embarrassed and think too much. I should just heck care what negative thoughts or words they have or say about me. But of course, whatever constructive comments they tell me, I would reflect on it and improve myself. I'm going to be the best of me from now on. In terms of personality (which I think I already have; I just have to get it out), in terms of relationships (family and friends; no boyfriends yet please, I'm not ready) and definitely in terms of studies and my participation in succeeding in school.
GO NADIAH!!
And when I'm in my middle age, say, 40-45, I'm going to write a letter to my younger self. What would I tell my younger self? I learned that in Oprah.
Right now, the only thing I'm looking forward to is hitting the books. I even thought of emailing my lecturers to give me something to do, a headstart before school reopens.
I'm also looking forward to the first day of Hari Raya. I can't wait to put on my pretty new gown. My mom said it's too much. Like I'm going to some important function or something. But whatever. I like to look pretty.
I'm also looking forward to the Asian Pacific Conference that's taking place in Singapore. I really hope I'd be selected.
I feel really positive at the moment. A total opposite from what I was a few days ago. It's good. GOOOOD!
And to those who gave me the hugs, THANK YOU! Who knows, you might be someone I'd do good deeds on.
In my own world,
9:37 PM