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sottovoce

I love flowers.
I love spontaneity, and pleasant surprises.
I'm dainty and ambitious; really.
I nurse others.
There's more than meets the eye when it comes to me.


only me



N A D I A H
200788
ngee ann poly
school of health sciences
Children's Emergency, KKWCH

[ e-mail ]

[ facebook ]

reminders

- Dine at Tiffany Cafe & Restaurant at Furama
- Tree Top Walk at MacRitchie

my past

March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 December 2010

credits

Blogskin done by 16thday with image from Taringa .




Friday, June 9, 2006

I'm really sorry.

I'm the most terrible person in the whole world. I feel so bad about what I said that I wanted to die. I didn't mean for anyone to read what I wrote. I just wanted to let it all out. What a stupid fool I am. The worst kind. It's so bad I might not even mind if someone tries to kill me.

The humiliation is so great. Like Great Wall of China or the Great Tsunami or something. I can't face the world anymore.

Then Tini said I should talk it out with him. I can never face a single hair of his already let alone talk to him. God! I just want to take my heart and throw it down my 13 storey flat la. I cannot talk to him after all this la. I wish I was never born. I'm a terrible person. I want to sleep and never wake up. And cry my whole body fluid out.

I'm going to hate school from now on la. Everyone hates me. I wish I was born with a disease called "Deficiency of Feelings". Then maybe the super God doctor can install a "Robotic Feelings machine" with an on/off switch button so that I can switch off whatever terrible feelings I encounter. That's definitely how I can survive in this world.

God hates me. He's punishing me. I'm super sure of that that if I get to ask Him, he'll say, "Yes, you're a bad person and I'm punishing you for being stupid and bloody arrogant." OK so some people will say I brought it down on myself.

This is the worst day of my life.

So I'm feeling a little sorry for myself. Everyone does that one time or another. I don't know why I'm so defensive. What's left to defend man? My fucking dignity has bloody disappeared into the Milky Way or the Black Hole or in Bermuda Triangle la.

I told Felicia also. She's really good at comforting someone. She's a good friend. And so is Tini. The best! But I'm not going to get over this that soon. No way. God will never let me forget it so soon. He'll never let me forget it.

I hate myself. I really do. I don't think I can ever be happy. I shall now be someone who people can't get close to, who never talks, who never looks into people's eyes. I'm going to be someone anonymous and low-lying, so low, I'm under the heaviest rock and even dust is above me.

Now let me go and cry peacefully.

I AM SO SORRY!

In my own world,
8:54 PM