Blogskin done by 16thday with image from Taringa .

Went to my cousin's wedding today. He looked great! So did his wife. Gorgeous. The food was alright. Saw many nice bikes. It got nicer towards the end. Someone found me attractive and asked for my number. Serious. I was like.. interesting... Then I was upstairs at my aunts house and this guy I sort of had my eye on since yesterday smiled at me! Cute. Hahah.


Too lazy to write the whole event in detail.


And my mom is really driving me up the wall. Not cool.
In my own world,
9:46 PM

I'm bored.


Today went to eat at Burger King IMM with Nisa and Fiq after school. I didn't get what they were talking about the whole time. So I was kinda 'by myself'. I kept my mouth busy by stuffing the burger and the straw of my drink into my mouth. So I didn't have to talk that much. And from this outing, I vehemently declare that Fiq has two characters. Well, maybe he acts that way around me. But, whatever. I kept wanting to roll my eyes and give him a smirk. But I was too polite. I've given up hope on him, 99%. Oh and we played a 'staring game' too. The first time, I was just looking at him and he caught my eyes and stared, unblinkingly. I stared back head on. I don't know why he did that another two times.... God, I've NEVER met anyone like him. Huh.. I shouldn't even give him the benefit of an entry about him.


Ugh.. Forget him.


Today's SAWI module was interesting and pretty much disheartening for me. It was about Prejudice and Discrimination. Sigh.. I'm going to have to risk my head being chopped off if I go overseas. Seems a lot of people really despise the Muslims and Malays. I almost cried openly hearing all these stories and reading all the articles. Why do all these have to happen?
In my own world,
8:24 PM

I hate him. I'm not going to layan him ever again.


Argh!
In my own world,
2:37 PM

Lesson No. 1

Yesterday was nice. A lot of people came to my house and I got to wash eye. Hahah..

The neighbour downstairs came and the eldest son is so cute! But kinda a show off too. I rolled my eyes.

Then my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandmother on my mother's side came. The house was full man! And noisy. Lights and food. Very festive. Cute and nice cousins. Love them.

They were still at my house when my mom's workmate came. She has a cute son. Around 5 years old I think. Really cute. I could've kidnapped him. Hahah. So cute I wish i had a picture of him. Yea so my house was full. It was fun.

Sigh..
In my own world,
7:55 PM

Come alive on Friday night.

He added a new photo to his friendster. Oh GOD! He's so cute. I really wish he would take the step and just ask me out everyday. It's just a matter of whether I'll say yes or no la. But come on! Just ask me!

Stupid jerk. He's a bloody player. Leading me on and.. argh! I just want to hit him. I'm not naive. Maybe a little. But I KNOW he led me on. If it was to be brought to court with all the evidence, I will win. Because he did lead me on. He makes me so angry sometimes. Frustrated and exasperated.

Anyway, today was fun! How many times must I say I love Ngee Ann Poly? The lecturers are wonderful! The modules are ever so interesting.
In my own world,
9:29 PM

Jangan Pisahkan

I realized you were just leading me on. And you even had the audacity to ask how you had led me on when just the night before you did all those stuff only friends won't do to each other.

I forgave him anyhow. He sounded so sincere on the phone. Like he has split personalities.

I'm just naive. Foolish. Never again.

I'm currently loving this Malay song called 'Jangan Pisahkan'. Malay people, if you haven't heard it before, go hear it. It's nice.

Jangan pisahkan, aku dan dia
Tuhan tolonglah, ku cinta dia
Biarkan kami tetap bersama
Di dalam suka dan duka.

Sung by this male singer. It means:
Don't seperate us, me and her
Please God, I love her
Let us always be together
In love and pain.

Or something like that. Hahah..
In my own world,
12:29 AM

Kedekut, Pengecut..

Fiq sent me home on his bike yesterday. It was part exciting, part arousing, part weird ride. Hahah.

Exciting cuz he rode so fast I thought I'd be blown of the seat and exciting also because I'm with him.

It was arousing (hahah) cuz of the vibration (hahah) and him sitting too close to me and adjusting my arms around him and.. err.. shall not disclose anymore of the arousing part. Hahah. Don't get so dirty-minded. Nothing dirty happened. I got off clean.

It was weird cuz he kept touching my hands and holding my little finger for a few seconds while driving, and then putting his hand back on the handle. I was like "What the hell do you want with my fingers?! Drive properly!". Hahah I didn't know what to do when he held it for that few seconds. Squeeze it back? Geez.. But it, I confess, quickened my heart rate. Then it was also weird cuz at this traffic light, we stopped and he turned his head to the side and kinda looked.. or stared.. at me for a few seconds without saying anything. And that few seconds is omg i can't believe how long it was. So I kinda frowned in confusion at him and said "What?!" He didn't say anything. I nearly wanted to nudge him. Hard. Or pinch him or something. It's frustrating! And in my head I was all "What does he want??" And THEN, there was this part at the traffic light when he turned to talk to me and he just, without my consent or without me knowing what was about to happen, he pushed my helmet visor up. I was like what the hell! Saja je.. He just pushed it up probably cuz he can't hear what I say or something. Should do that to him next time. See how he likes that. He's like one big mystery. He dropped me off at Whitesands cuz I needed to buy something. And a few minutes later messaged me. Blah, blah, blah and he hasn't replied since yesterday night.

Anyway, I love school. I love my lecturers. They're the best. And my friends. Laughed with them so hard I could die. Love it. Bruce Almighty and kedekut and stuff. Aiyoh.. Hahah. And 3 of my favourite lecturers know me. As in KNOW me. Never had teachers KNOW me before so it was nice.
In my own world,
10:10 PM

Cute boys.

Went out raya today. Pretty boring. Next year don't want to go anywhere la except with my friends only.

But I saw three cute little boys today. Really cute, I couldn't stand it. I have to have one one day. They're too cute for me not to have them.

Well I've really made up my mind not to go out raya that much next year. It's quite boring. Alah.. I don't know la. Sit at home also boring.

Argh! How much more complicated can life be?

And I want him to like me back. I mean I don't know if he likes me back but I'm not going to ask him either. Ugh.. it'll be a lot easier if i can read his mind but that won't be much fun.

Nad, get a life.
In my own world,
11:08 PM

I rode a bike!

Guess what? I met Taufiq again today! He asked me out to Ikea. At first I was like ok can. But then he say another day cuz he got a lot of stuff to buy and carry and don't want to trouble me. Well, I didn't think he would have troubled me. I'd be more than happy to help him carry some of the stuff. Ok ah fine so I decided not to go. Then he ask if I want to follow him. Just meet him at Ikea je. But he only brought one helmet and since i don't know how to go home from there I refused ah, saying another day je. Then I don't know how it happened but in the end I asked Nisa to come along with me and we met Taufiq. Tini came along. Love this two friends of mine, I tell you.

So we met ah. I was so nervous, I had a stomach ache and wanted to shit. The next minute I felt like fainting. The next minute I felt like vomitting. That was how nervous I was ok. I just wish he'd understand I was nervous and just shy at first. Besides this is like the first time I'm meeting some guy who actually has an interest in me. So I was like saying to my friends like what if he doesn't like me anymore, blah blah blah. They comforted me ah.

So over there, going around Ikea. I was like so shy and quiet ok. I hardly talked to him at all ok. I was so scared. At that moment, I'd give a million dollars to just let me faint. Hahah. But oh my God. This was the first time I saw him face to face like less than a metre away ok. He was so cute. He looked so chinese la ok. He got this baby face and a dimple. I was literally melting. So cute! I was really miserable la during that time cuz I wasn't talking to him at all and he wasn't talking to me. But Nisa caught him looking at me when I wasn't looking. Argh!! My heart rate was like super fast. It's called tachycardia. Hahah. Then he finished shopping at Ikea and we went out of the mall and Nisa, Tini and I decided to walk walk at Queenstown first. Taufiq went home to put all his stuff and Nisa told me that maybe he might go down to Queenstown for a while after that.

Then guess what happened?! We were at this staircase, totally hidden from everyone's view. Just sat there talking and Taufiq SMSed me and said: I send you home ah. Nak tak? I was so excited la ok! I calmed myself down and replied blah blah blah. And I met him with Nisa. He came and he put on the helmet for me!! Nisa was like: Ala, cute nye! Sweet nye! Hahah.. Yea btw, it was the first time I rode a bike so i was super nervous like crap. I worried I would fall just by climbing the bike. Hahah but everything went fine. It was so fun!! I held his shoulders at first but he said not to hold his shoulders. So I kinda grabbed his shirt at the side of his waist. And he took my arms and wrapped it around his waist ok!! I was like Oh God! This is too intimate for the first time. Hahaha.. We sat so close I don't think a finger could be put between us la ok. And my helmet kept knocking against his. Then he macam adjusted my hands and all that because they were in fists. So he opened them up and I laced my fingers and just held him la. Then the first few kilometres I was like don't speed! Slow down! Hahaha but he said just relax. Then after a while I kinda got used to it. It was SO fun!! And he's soooo cute I thought I was dreaming everything, that he likes me, that he's actually sending me home on his bike, letting my arms be around him and everything. Hahaha. We only talked at the traffic lights. Hahaha. I was ok with that cuz I was afraid I won't be able to think of anything to talk about. Then when we reached my place, i tell you i couldn't feel my legs. The vibration of the bike was so strong like I've never felt before. Hahaha but it was really very nice. I want to do it again!

Then a few hours later, I was waiting for the bus to go to my cousin's house when he messaged me. He told me he just woke up from a nap. Then I told him wah, so nice i also want to sleep, so tired. And then he replied you know what? Omg I shouldn't say this man. It's just wrong. Ok he said: Come sleep beside me..ahaks. I was like what the. He could actually think of that?! He makes me so excited sometimes man.

Ok i'm not going to let myself feel too much. I don't know if he still likes me or whatever. So Nad, don't think or feel too much. You'll get hurt if you do that.

I'm so happy I went to poly. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten to know Nisa and Tini and Lia.
In my own world,
10:09 PM

Complaints.

I know I just updated a few hours ago but I went blog-hopping and everyone was complaining about something or other. So i'm going to complain about something. But I won't complain and complain until I make my life look so miserable and people starts to either pity me or jump for joy that my life is worse than theirs.

*Lets out a gush of breath*

It's super difficult to express what you feel sometimes in words. People might get the wrong impression and assume on different pitch and tone when I'm actually using another pitch and tone. Maybe one day they'll make a blog where you can record your entries verbally. Every computer would have a microphone and those who sign up for this audio-blog would speak to themselves in front of the computer. And everything and however the bloggers are trying to mean (angry, sad, disappointed, hurt, happy, excited, oh and the most difficult expression to express: sarcasm), now they can express them.

And I feel like i'm crapping my way around here. But who cares really? Not me. Not. Me. And I have a feeling this is going to be the longest blog entry I've ever done. Well I don't care! It's me against the world and I don't care. I don't care.

Hold on. Let me find something to complain about.

I can't stand the world sometimes. I don't know how many times I've complained about this but I really can't stand it. What is wrong with some people's minds? Why do they use stuff the wrong way. Why do they bomb each other up? Why do they land they bloody bombs anywhere and everywhere? Why are they killing people with bombs? Is that why bombs are created? WHY?

And about racism. Why do some races look down on others? Why? The skin colour is not the result of some disease, you know. And guess what? God made us. He coloured us differently to make the world look interesting enough for aliens to come down to earth. What the hell am I talking about? Try colouring a scene with only a single colour. I can bet a few bucks that it won't be interesting or pretty or eye catching. At all. Whatever skin colour we are, God still loves us. You're hating one of God's creation if you're a racist. And that's just wrong. Ow. And an ant just bit me. I mean, won't it be much more interesting and fun to know someone different than you? You'll feel unique and special.

And why are Life just so unfair? Why do some people get so many but others get so little? Oh my God. I'm thinking up things faster than I am typing. I'm losing everything that I'm thinking. Huh?

And parents. Oh my God. Parents. Why do they love comparing their own children with other families'? Why are they nagging and nagging the same thing every time? I know it's for our own good but oh god. Just shut up!! And they say they were young once. Obviously they've forgotten what it's like to be young. Because if they know what it's like hearing all this scoldings time and time again, they wouldn't want to do it to their kids. Would they? And my God, the way they pressurize us. It could have killed me. The bloody expectations and everything. Sometimes I wish I could just scream everything in their faces but then it would be rude of me and i'd sinned. And besides 90% they would be right anyway. Argh!!

And me. After complaining so much about everything but me, it's fair to at least complain something about me. Well, that sounded like something else. Anyway, I have some lessons to be learnt as well. I have to stop taking everything for granted. I have to stop being lazy. I have to stop being so shy. But is it really my fault that I'm shy and low on self esteem? Is it REALLY my fault? Maybe it's not but I have to RIGHT that fault, right? It's just so difficult. And I have to stop complaining about the situation (meaning, the 'Why am I not.....') I'm in. I have to learn to accept it. But oh God it's difficult. Everything's difficult. Argh!!

And how come I don't have a boyfriend. Isn't there any guys out there who wants to love me? I'm not being desperate. I hate being desperate. I'm just wondering why.

By the way, the stuff I complain about does not apply to everyone. Now with people getting arrested with what they write in their blogs, I don't want to be the next face in the news. Anyone offended, I'm sorry. Don't arrest me, don't stalk me, don't try to kill me. I mean the world is huge. Anything could happen.

*SCREAM!*
In my own world,
9:16 PM

Taufiq is his name.

School has started! So glad to be back in school.

Anyway, anyway. Yesterday we had Sports & Wellness. And I cannot believe I chose Aerobics. Argh! Damned pissed. Some more all the people who chose aerobics are girls. I'm doomed to a life experience full of females. Girls' school since Primary school. Now in poly, i'm in a course which has a majority of female students. I'm bonded with KK Women's and Children's Hospital. Now a PE module full of girls. What is this, man.

After that we had 4 hours break. Nisa, Tini, Lia and I went to play pool! We played 4 games in about 2 hours. Yes slow. I know, I know. But it was fun teaching the first timers (Tini and Lia) to play. Laughed like crazy. Fun!

Then got lecture and NSL. Quite boring.

I was so glad I was wearing my best cuz after that, Lia, Nisa and I went to Geylang to break fast and walk walk. It was tiring, hot, hot and did I say hot? But we saw some cute guys around and I even got a number! Thanks to dearest Nisa. Here's what happened. We were walking through this super duper crowded bazaar when Nisa spotted two guys, her band seniors. (I want to scream just thinking about what happened la ok.) Talk for a while and we moved on. I told Nisa one of them was cute. I was just being blase about it. Then Nisa got a message from one of them saying, "Nisa, yang pakai tudung tu boleh tahan." Hahahah! Nisa told me and.. I'll give you 10 cents for you to guess the right answer. Those who know me should know la what happened to me. Then I just play2 ah saying the guy pun boleh tahan jugak. Nisa was laughing like mad. Ya so blah, blah, blah, Nisa gave him my number and now he's my friend too. Taufiq is his name.

Happy Deepavali!
In my own world,
2:14 PM